Do you sometimes feel like you wasted your entire life? And that it's too late to start making it better?
I've been feeling like that lately. All the things that I missed out on, or should've done when I was younger, they're all rearing their ugly heads right now.
I know I should've gotten my license and gotten into (and STAYED IN) college years ago. If I had, things would've been MUCH different for me now. I could've gone somewhere with my life instead of sitting on a couch all day, waiting to get up and go to my dead end job. I probably could've even had my own place by now instead of manifesting at home. I know, I can still do these things, but at this point in my life, instead of feeling excited or proud about wanting to do these things, I feel embarrassed.
I know I should've been more social, made more friends and maybe even found a partner along the way. I feel like I missed out on experiencing these things when I should have. I had one close friend in my entire life, and we drifted apart when I was sixteen. When it comes to dating, I've never even been kissed by anyone before, let alone had a full out relationship. I feel like I should've at least done that once before now.
Even stupid little things, like getting a tattoo, making video game LPs, or getting a few more piercings, THAT'S even bothering me. Nothing was stopping me from doing it a few years ago, so why didn't I do it? Again, I know nothing's stopping me from doing them now, but I feel kind of embarrassed for wanting to do these things so badly now.
Funny thing is, these things never really bothered me until now. Sure, they crossed my mind, but never ate away at me like they have been.
I think I'm having some sort of Pre Mid-Life crisis or something.